I’m currently in one of the daily time limbos created by the placement of the early volunteer shift and the late-er work shift.  Giving me an hour to wonder what to do with my hour, until that hour is gone.

Right now i’m spending it rather well.  Organizing my google calendar, like I actually do things.  Responding to e-mails.
There’s nothing quite like having an important e-mail, and NOT responding to it, that only God knows why you don’t do it NOW.  It’s not just a procrastination that’s like “I’ll clean my room later this year”.  They might give money to me, and still I do nothing.  “I’ll get a paycheck later this year.”  Lame.

Got some ginger-peach black tea (pretty fucking great) and i’m listening to Ratatat.

Are you writing all this down?  These are very important items of interest.

I think i’ve bitched enough about my job.  I’ve certainly talked a tall game of leaving, and months have passed, i’ve not moved a muscle.  I’m not asking folks for a “What should I do” gallup poll here.  I’ll make the decision soon, and whatever decision I make, it will be the best damn decision anyone’s ever made.  So make it.  Alright, cool.

I liken my job situation to wasting food.  My nagging mom voice inside my head (who is not like my real mom at all) says “A lot of starving chinese would kill for a job like yours!  Indoors all day, NOT pennies a day, No Asbestos (yet), what more could you waaaaaaant!?”
Well, like my response to wasting food, i’d feel great about employing a starving Chinese person in my stead.  Please, make a decent wage!  Go feed your family, and make some medicine money for your sick father!  Now, I am a saint for quitting.  Really, i’d be an evil greedy fuck to keep this job for much longer.

When it comes down to it, i’m not good at food service.  Most people are, i’m not.  At first, I thought I was being a self entitled prick.  “I’m waaaay better than this!”  I’m starting to think that doesn’t exist.  The whole “Waaaaaay Better Than” thing.  Nobody’s ever like “I’m Waaaaay Better Than being an astronaut.  I’m above that shit, maaaaan”.  Because if you were above that shit, you’d just be further in space, and you would suffocate in it’s lifeless, icy grip.  This is assuming you can’t afford a spacesuit.  And I assume this because I can’t afford a spacesuit, and I don’t associate myself with people who are richer than me, because of a crippling jealousy issue.

I am physically capable of doing menial work.  There is a mindset though that I can’t achieve.  I wonder whether I’m shutting something off, or not turning something on, but either way, I can’t do the in-genuine thing.

AAAAa I have to go speed now to get to work.  Bye internet!